But my mind is a cluttered noisy place. A blizzard of words blew through.
in real life
my body, money, family, job, to-do-list, punctuality
real change, James, homeless folks, hungry folks
I'm noticing that I escape up into my mind, out of real life, out of pain, poverty, inequality, injustice, have-not...
what will I do?
"Earth" is the word that all these others root into, and it echoes a commitment I made to myself last Fall to focus on the physical world and let the intangible take care of itself for a little while. "Earth" challenges me to remain present in my pain & discomfort; it challenges me to remain with others & their pain. It challenges me to heed and then to respond in real tangible life to people, issues, facts beyond my sphere.
Monday morning I woke up feeling sick and it got worse before it got better. That will get your attention onto physical reality... But it can also be an incentive to escape out of a broken body. I chose to stay with it & listen. Comfy clothes. Eat soup. Pile on the quilts. And I accepted it as a reminder & nudge: go back to those (friends & strangers) in pain & listen, let them know that you are near; share something tangible (cash & company both count) with the neighborhood homeless man; seek new information, beyond the media-hype in my face and...
I'm afraid. I don't know what to do. I don't know what will be asked of me. I so want to choose something immediate to me to occupy myself, to be my alibi, my excuse.